Colonizes the squat rack. Promptly cuts off the hands of the guy occupying it. Claims both incline benches in the name of the Queen, who never actually shows up. Vows to put up 800 lbs. at the leg press but only raises 200. Says “there was a storm on the return trip,” and winks at you like you’re supposed to know what that means. Does his curls while standing over the dumbbell rack, making it virtually impossible for anyone else to use the free weights. Brings terror, exploitation, and disease by playing P.O.D.’s “Youth of the Nation” on his...
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